Slactivism–“feel-good” measures, in support of an issue or social cause, that have little or no practical effect other than to make the person doing it feel some amount of satisfaction. The acts tend to require minimal personal effort from the slacktivist. The underlying assumption being promoted by the term is that these low-cost efforts substitute for more substantive actions rather than supplementing them, although this assumption has not been borne out by research. The Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS describes the term “slacktivist”, saying it “posits that people who support a cause by performing simple measures are not truly engaged or devoted to making a change”–quoted from Wikipedia.
My eldest niece has been making a stink about this for a while now–not that she isn’t guilty of this herself. Some people (like myself) have been quietly working behind the scenes for 30 years to show support to the people in their lives affected by this issue and felt more harm than good would come of being in other people’s faces, pushing the issue to bigoted, narrow-minded persons who won’t be swayed anyway.
Being public about an issue is no good if you aren’t private about it also. You can’t buy your way into Heaven with lip service and deeds, the same applies here. The truth of your convictions begins at home, in how you handle your private life.
Like many people, I was raised by a single parent and my grandparents and I turned out just fine–after a little therapy. A child does not need a mother & father as long as they are loved. In this age, there are so many different types of families; single moms, single dads, grandparents raising their grandchildren, unmarried parents co-parenting, an extended family made up of friends rather than relatives, and many more examples of extended families. A village, really.
When you look at some of the types of marriage – women being abused but “staying for the children”, two parents not even loving each other but “raising their children together”, those who just basically formed a companionship to “raise children together”. Those types can be much more detrimental to a child than having 1 parent or 2 same-sex parents. It saddens me that society wants to teach our children that only 1 male & 1 female parent is okay or otherwise the kid will come out screwed up.
My parents got divorced after ten years having five children, two of which died to infant death. My dad was single for three years then got remarried to a woman with a child, because she became pregnant. It was a mistake. They knew it was a mistake, but did ‘the right thing’, ending up having three more children. They stayed together “for the sake of the kids”. Twenty-five years they were married and they were miserable, making us miserable. Once the youngest graduated from high school they divorced.
Our family was screwed up. Not only did they hate each other, but they resented the other partner’s children–which made for a miserable childhood for me. Until recently, I didn’t know just how purposefully oblivious our dad was. We were talking about the old days. He talked about how different it is now compared to when he got up at 4:00am left by 5:00 to be at work in DC by 7:00 and returned home around 7:00pm, six days a week. He commended her for keeping the house clean and stretching the budget to support seven kids with enough left over to go out twice a month. My eyes about popped out of my head.
My sister and I did our own laundry and cooked our own meals, we had to have jobs for spending money to buy our own food, clothes, and supplies because she didn’t give us anything from the household allowance. We still had to do chores around our work and school schedules and things take care of a household that a stay at home person SHOULD have been doing–or else pay her to do it for us. It cost me $0.50 per meal to have her do the dishes; breakfast, lunch, dinner; $0.50 to vacuum every day, $0.50 a load for using ‘her’ water to do my laundry–Basically I paid out $20 a week to sleep there.
I left the house for school at 7 , did homework before class, had breakfast & lunch there (free meals), then went straight to work after. I worked 4-11, M-TH at a group home where I cooked the meals, gave baths, did laundry, cleaned the house, used break time to study or homework. Friday I had off so I could get ready for the weekend where I worked 7-7 shifts Saturday and Sunday.
I don’t know what I would have done without my bff’s family, my other mother. They took me in my senior year and I got a chance to not work 52 hours a week, have someone else do my laundry & cook my food–had to sit down at a table and eat with a family which was a novel experience. I still had chores, but they were equally divided among four kids and were age appropriate-dishes, put away my own clothes, clean out the cat litter, or pick up after the dog.
Right after I moved in, Mom loaded up Bran & I in the wagon and headed to the mall. After picking out a pair of jeans and top I could afford, I went to Walden Books. We got back to the house, unloaded, and I discovered that not only did I have jeans and top I picked out, but bras, underwear, sneakers, more jeans, tops, and socks. Bran picked them out and her mom paid for everything, I bawled for an hour straight. I thought her dad was going to have a come to Jesus meeting with my dad and a shotgun.
I guess what I’m saying is that our children should be taught that man+woman does not equal the best family. Our children do deserve protection but that is to be taught that hate is never the answer. Denying ANYONE a right that should be theirs to begin with is wrong. Even criminals get rights to their private lives, but same-sex couples have none.